Genital herpes: symptoms, outbreaks and how to tell your partner
Genital herpes is a very common sexually transmitted infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. Many people have it without knowing, because the symptoms are mild or do not appear. There is no cure, but antivirals control outbreaks and lower the risk of passing it on, and most people with herpes have a normal sex life and relationships.
What is genital herpes?
It is caused by herpes simplex virus (HSV) type 2 or type 1; type 1 is the one that usually causes cold sores. After the first infection, the virus stays in the body for life in a dormant state and can reactivate from time to time, causing new outbreaks.
Genital herpes symptoms
Many people have no symptoms or have such mild ones that they do not recognize them. If they appear, the first outbreak usually happens between 2 and 12 days after contact and is usually the most intense:
- Painful blisters or sores on the genitals, anus, buttocks or thighs, which break open and form scabs.
- Itching, tingling or burning before the lesions appear.
- Pain when urinating.
- In the first outbreak, fever, feeling unwell and swollen glands in the groin.
Later outbreaks are usually milder and shorter, and over time they become less frequent. Stress, periods, other infections or friction can trigger them.
How is genital herpes spread?
It spreads through direct contact with the skin or mucous membranes of the infected area during vaginal, anal or oral sex. The risk is higher when there are sores, but it can also be passed on without symptoms, because the virus is sometimes shed without anyone noticing. Condoms lower the risk but do not eliminate it, because they do not cover the whole area. It can pass to the baby during childbirth.
Testing and diagnosis
If you have lesions, the diagnosis is made with an examination and a swab from the sore, which identifies the virus and its type. See your doctor while the lesions are present, because that is when the test is most reliable. Without lesions, a blood test is of limited use and is only done in some cases.
Genital herpes treatment
There is no cure, but antivirals (such as acyclovir, valacyclovir or famciclovir) make outbreaks shorter and milder. If you have frequent outbreaks, your doctor may recommend daily suppressive therapy, which reduces outbreaks and also the risk of infecting your partner.
During an outbreak, keep the area clean and dry, wear cotton underwear and avoid touching the lesions. Do not have sex from the moment you notice the first symptoms (itching or tingling) until the lesions have completely healed.
How to tell your partner you have herpes
It is one of the hardest conversations. Some tips:
- Choose a calm moment, without rushing and before having sex.
- Give information, not just the news: it is a very common infection, many people have it without knowing and it can be managed.
- Explain how to lower the risk: avoiding sex during outbreaks, using condoms and, if needed, suppressive therapy.
- No blame: the virus can stay dormant for years, so the diagnosis does not tell when or from whom it came.
- Give them time to think and ask their questions.
If you have a steady partner, tell them as soon as possible. If you are starting a relationship, it is best to tell them before having sex.
If an ex or a casual partner may have been infected and you cannot or do not want to talk to them, you can send them an anonymous text message or email with STI notice, without your name or number appearing.
Who should you notify?
You should tell your current partner and, before having sex, any new partners. If you have just been diagnosed, it is also a good idea to notify recent partners, although there is no fixed period as with other STIs, because the virus may have been in your body for years.
If you have been told you might have genital herpes
Talk to your doctor: if you have no symptoms, they will decide whether a blood test is useful to find out if you already have the virus. Watch for sores, blisters, itching or tingling on the genitals or anus and, if they appear, go while they are present so a swab can be taken. Do not have sex while you have lesions.
How to lower the risk of passing it on
Avoid sex during outbreaks and from the first symptoms, use condoms or latex barriers for oral sex, and talk to your doctor about suppressive therapy if your partner does not have the virus.
Frequently asked questions about genital herpes
Can a cold sore cause genital herpes?
Yes. The cold sore virus (type 1) can pass to the genitals through oral sex, and the genital virus can pass to the mouth. Avoid oral sex if you have a cold sore or a sore in your mouth.
Can I have children if I have genital herpes?
Yes. Tell the team looking after your pregnancy: they will consider treatment in the last weeks and the type of delivery to protect the baby. The greatest risk is when the first infection happens late in pregnancy.
Other sexually transmitted infections
Syphilis · Gonorrhea · HIV · Pubic lice (crabs) · HPV and genital warts · Chlamydia · Yeast infection (candidiasis) · Hepatitis A, B and C · Trichomoniasis · Scabies · Mpox (monkeypox)
Sources: MedlinePlus: genital herpes self-care; CDC: genital herpes treatment guidelines.Health information updated in October 2026. It does not replace advice from a healthcare professional.